Hey, guys...little info on why i havent been posting, and also why posting will be kind of sparse here for a week or so...my computer at home has been on the lam(well...not actually on the lam, but close), and hasnt been working in some time...so my internet access is limited to when i'm at Courtney's house, where i'm at presently. So...it seems that i'm falling back into my ellipse habit. I just wanted to update you on why i havent been posting...but i will be back at CN on the 4th, so then i should be up and running again.

  posted by Andy @ 1:16 PM

 
A little humor for ya: Courtney, this is for you.

  posted by Andy @ 11:56 PM

 
Classes are done. Finally. Or at least that's how i should be feeling...I hate not being able to see my hand in front of my face. Sorry about this, folks(or rather Courtney and Joe...since they seem to be the only two people who read this), i know you probably get tired of me whining all the time about my frustrations about my lack of faith. But that's me. I like being in control, and when i'm not(re:now), i get a little scared. Father, may i have faith in You, and in your sight that is so much greater than mine. I am like a blind child in the very capable hands of Richard Petty, or Michael Schumacher in a car careening down a dark hairpinish mountain road. You alone know where we are going, and tell me endlessly through your word:

"I am your refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. So don't be afraid even though the earth falls away, though the mountains be shaken into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.
There is a river whose streams make glad My city, My holy habitation. I am in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; I will help her when the morning dawns. The nations rage, the kingdoms totter, I utter my voice, the earth melts. I, the LORD of hosts, am with you; I, the God of Jacob am your fortress.
Come, behold My works, how I have brought desolations on the earth. I make wars cease to the end of the earth; I break the bow and shatter the spear; I burn the chariot with fire. Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! I am with you, I am your fortress."(Ps. 46, paraphrased, emphasis mine)

I stand in awe of You, my God.

  posted by Andy @ 9:55 PM

 
So, it's another late night on the Carson-Newman campus, with me getting ready for bed and surveying the events of the day(okay, so maybe this is a rare occurrance, but this is the third try tonight, and darnit if i'm going to post it). This morning I realized that I had not only left my toothbrush and toothpaste at home, but i was also out of soap. The soap thing I've been able to remedy(bought some at the campus convinience store this afternoon), but the toothbrush thing...I'll leave at that.

Today, i woke up, went to class, went to class, ate lunch, checked mail(more on that later), bought soap, went to class, took a shower, used new soap(it works, thankfully), then went to class and took a test i wasnt exactly ready for...but did pretty well on. Sort of your normal day. I also went to two Christmas parties...(i feel like i'm falling back into my former ellipse posting pattern...slowly but surely.) The first one was the one for EPC, which was okay...Nasty Santa and finger food. Mmmm. Donuts. Sorry...that was random. Back on topic. I stayed at the EPC party for about an hour, then moved on to the next item on the night's agenda, the Bonner Christmas party. (a true event.)

The Christmas 'Partay' was held at the Glenmore Mansion just off of campus. Glenmore Mansion(which has really tall ceilings...and doors...even on the second story...it was as if there were a family of giants living in it at one time...not really.) was built after the Civil War and is in mostly original condition. We played Dirrrty Santa(the 'rrr's are important), which was more rousing than the Nasty Santa game...mostly because we had more people this time. I probably got the short end of the gifting stick, since i got a cd with one track on it(baby got back), which was a gift from the folks who got the most in that game of Dirrrty Santa, Carlton and Ashley. Ya know why? Well, let's just say that there was a little bit of proposing at the 'partay'. So that goes without saying.

I said i'd get back to the checking mail thing, and i am. I actually got something in my mailbox today...and that made me happy. Not just because it was something, but it was from Someone. I think what she sent was really cool...and so i'm going to post it on here. The note was a quote from Madame Bovary that reads like this:

"Yes, it comes along one day...All of a sudden, just when we've given up hope. Then new horizons open up before us: it's like a voice crying, 'Look! It's here!' We feel the need to pour out our hearts to a given person, to surrender, to sacrifice everything.
In such a meeting, no words are necessary: each senses the other's thoughts. Each is the answer to the other's dreams...There it is, the treasure so long sought for- there before us: it gleams, it sparkles. But still we doubt, we daren't believe; we stand there dazzled, as though we'd come from darkness into light."

I still have fears, mostly based on my own fear to let go of the wheel regardless of my inability to see the path ahead of me. Or to put my full, unwavering trust in a God who truly does know what is best for me, and loved me enough to send His Son to show me how to love, even to the extent of dying on the cross for my sins. Father, you give me treasure immeasureable and abounding in Your Son, and still, you bless me with a woman who loves me out of the overflow of Your love for her. Wow. My Lord and my God, You are Amazing.

  posted by Andy @ 12:22 AM

 
Hey, kids. Got some new stuff going up on the pages...i'm putting up more of my work on the songs page, and hopefully, i'm going to finish my bio/testimony for my contact information page. Along with that, i'm hoping that joe will put me up some counters and comment thingymajigs for those pages. Oh. And by the way, the comments things, yeah, they're there for a reason. Gimme some input, not shelter.(i already have that.)

  posted by Andy @ 2:09 PM

 
ah. the perks of being the admin(or one of them...hehe). I really have no idea why it's been this long since posting, but it has been, hasnt it? Well, what's new, you may ask...and i would probably answer by saying that i dont think much is new. Wait a second. It's been two months. Holy Crapola! I think that's the longest i've gone without posting. I guess you should know that i'm no longer driving the Ghetto Tank, but instead have a 96 jeep cherokee that i love dearly...and also opens up many more spaces on campus that i can park. I still play at New City Cafe on thursdays, and since tomorrow night is thursday night, i'll be there if anyone wants to come out and listen to some good music(not always played by me) in a good atmosphere.

A lot of things have been on my mind lately. Some i can and some i cant share. But i'm certainly going to be real in this space, because i believe that that is how we are supposed to communicate with everyone. I've been dealing with a lot of things, ranging from my lusts(mainly those of the sexual nature), to my laziness, and my greed, and selfishness, and also trying to work out my salvation with fear and trembling. The most persistent(though not the most difficult...but it's close) thing of these that i've been wrestling with has been my lust. I've described it in a song that i'm working on as a demon, and that's precisely what i feel it is like. I'm not removing responsibility from myself for my sin when i say this, but it is just as if my body was out of my control. And i hate it, not because of the typical American reason of hating to be out of their own control, but because of who i have conspired with to give control to. I almost willingly, in my sinful nature(which i hesitate to kill, because it's me, plain and simple) conspire against the God and Creator and Savior that i love with so much of my heart, and give my body to my enemy for him to do great damage with, not only to me, but to the woman i love, and to others around me. It makes me sick. Finally, i reached my breaking point. After going too far again, i sat in a daze, shocked at what i had done, not so much what, but who had done this act. I've decided to fight. I cant do it on my own strength, but i must use all of it. I must be poured out to the point that i cannot stand on my own actions, on my own two feet. Christ, you are my Knight and my Redeemer. You fight for me, though i have done nothing to deserve it. You alone are awesome.

  posted by Andy @ 8:20 PM